


Redirection

by Ulalume



Series: Shadow Seeker [3]
Category: Star Wars: The Old Republic
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-03
Updated: 2014-06-03
Packaged: 2018-02-03 06:47:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1735088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ulalume/pseuds/Ulalume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A turning point in Kyr’s past which led to who he is today.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Redirection

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt: Kyr - A situation from their past
> 
> (http://deathcupcake.tumblr.com/post/70261506238/kyr-a-situation-from-their-past-vyolet-why-they)

Kyr woke abruptly, the taste of the cantina heavy in his mouth and the unfamiliar tang of another’s scent around him. He turned towards the human man sleeping at his side. Another planet, another tryst. He couldn’t even remember the man’s name. Rennix? Something like that. It didn’t matter, really, but names made him feel slightly better about waking up next to a stranger.

He studied the man’s delicate features — dark smudges underneath the eyes, lips still faintly rouged — and smiled wistfully, running his fingers lightly along the man’s soft, silver-blond hair where it curled against his neck. Non-Chiss were still exotic to him, and this one, although an obvious regular in the cantina’s scene, seemed more genuine than the usual type he met; good looking and enthusiastic, almost solicitous.

Kyr stretched, his face flushing warmly as he recalled the night’s activities and — in what had become a disconcerting habit lately — briefly imagined what it would be like to wake up with this man with the bright blue eyes like the deepest glacier, day after day, watching his face relaxed in sleep, understanding his expressions and movements, the nuances of his laughter. He imagined the two of them stumbling groggily into the kitchen to make breakfast punctuated with the occasional kiss or gentle caress.

His smile faded with the fantasy. Kyr wasn’t sure that he wanted so much domesticity but he was beginning to realize this — however he justified it to himself — felt like hovering in orbit, not traveling the hyperlanes.

He sighed, closing his eyes. Kyr had left home to live by his own rules, not the Ascendancy’s, yet being on his own hadn’t brought happiness or even contentment. He still struggled with uncertainty, compounded now by loneliness. Less than a year into his exciting, new life and he repeatedly questioned whether or not leaving everything behind had been the right move. He missed his family and familiar surroundings, sometimes even the stifling predictability of his life on Csaus. When he thought of his unease whenever the crew took out a target, the potential of death and injury, the sleepless nights, Kyr wasn’t sure he would last in the business.

Yet staying at home had been untenable. His face hardened, lips pressed into a resigned line. The expectations to conform to what his family and society wanted; the longing for somewhere else, something alien, had been too strong. Joining the hunter’s crew had been his ticket out. Even if he could return now, he wouldn’t.

 _This is where I belong._ Kyr glanced at the sleeping man again. _Well, not exactly here. I need to figure out what I want._

He rolled over and located his datapad to check messages. A priority alert informed him that the new ignition system was due to arrive that day. Vaasha would expect him to install that and re-seat the engines so they could get back to business. They’d had too much downtime and downtime was credits lost. With a stifled groan, he groped around for his clothes, fingers encountering questionable debris and other discarded items with mild disgust. This man made him look neat in comparison.

His movements woke his bed partner. Kyr went still, not wanting a repeat of the previous night, as pleasant as that had been. All he wanted was to get back to the ship and his work, maybe hang out with Torian and learn more Mando’a, ask about his people’s customs. When he felt the man’s exploratory caress on his behind, Kyr twisted away, hastily throwing on his gear. He swiped a sleeve across his mouth and face, hoping to remove any trace of transferred cosmetics, and with a mumbled goodbye, he slipped out the door and into the pre-dawn light.

_No, I really don’t want this._

Kyr half jogged down the damp streets, inhaling city air almost fresh after a recent rainstorm. He sidestepped around parked speeders and puddles, stopping to pick up a box of local pastries. Bringing food back for the crew was a habit he’d fallen into on his nights out and he smiled as he anticipated the exclamations from the always-ravenous Xeph.

It was when he arrived at the space port that clarity hit him like the recoil from a turret blast. Returning to the ship was a relief. It wasn’t exactly home, but it was a place he belonged. As he coded the door open and stepped aboard, Kyr relaxed. He was done pretending to be someone else, done trying to fill the loneliness with empty rendezvous in seedy bars.

He glanced at the box of pastries he held. Maybe he’d fill his time learning how to cook instead.


End file.
